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Band 6

In many countries, people are not taking care of their elderly relatives. Instead, the care provided by professionals. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #care #relatives #professionals #development
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It is true that people in many countries are not taking
care
 of their elderly people, whereas the
care
 is provided by professionals
instead
.
This
 is a positive development.   One of the most important reasons why
this
 is a positive is that the elderly people will be provided a physical
care
 in order to meet hospital standard. Due to the experiences as well as the knowledges of professionals, older people will be able to get not only essential nutrients
such
 as minerals, calcium and so forth but
also
 adequate exercise.
For example
, according to the latest survey conducted by Sydney University, it revealed that 80% of the people who was sent to nursing homes or professional age
care
 facilities tend to live longer and healthier. Another reason to support
this
 the fact that professionals can assist the elderly people in terms of mental health.
This
 is because older people tend to have neurological diseases. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that older people who age over 70 years old in Thailand suffered from dementia and depression because of lacking
care
 by professionals.
As a result
, many of these old people are facing with the memory, language and decision-making abilities, which can be considered a benefit of having a professional. In conclusion, it is obvious that
this
 trend is thought to be a beneficial because the elderly people will be assisted not only physical term but
also
 mental health.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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