IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own experience.

In
this
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 contemporary era, it is argued that teaching
jobs
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 are not being chosen by the younger generations nowadays. I believe
this
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 is happening because most of them have started studying professional
courses
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 and opting for high-paying
jobs
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 rather than teaching. In order to improve the diversity in the job market, the government should introduce some additional policies to attract youngsters.
To begin
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 with, the primary reason behind
this
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 notion is because of their desire to live a wealthy lifestyle in society.
This
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 is because of the constant pressure to buy new items that bring instant gratification for which they need more money. Since the salary for these professionals is less, students have become aware of their future needs and choosing other streams for lucrative career options.
For example
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, A recent survey conducted by the private sector shows data about the increased number of professionals in the IT industry for the
last
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 decade.
Hence
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, it is evident that people are not merely attached to their satisfaction in
jobs
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 but
also
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 the high takeaway. The best solution to curb
this
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 issue to improve the situation is, by introducing some additional policies for them to thrive. The reason behind
this
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 is that not everyone is choosing professional
courses
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 like Medicine and Engineering, there are other middle-class aspirants who don't even have the background to finish college.
However
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, If the regime announces policies like extra stipends or scholarships to the students who are willing to take these
courses
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, we can assure you that there will be a substantial increase in admissions in
this
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 field.
For instance
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, a New scheme announced by The Kerala Government for young women students who completed their higher secondary to join the art and crafts
courses
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 increased the
significant
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apply
show examples
number of admissions.
Thus
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, serious actions and corrective measures can be imposed to tackle
this
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 issue smartly. In conclusion, it may be true that younger generations are losing their interest in choosing the teaching profession because of other attractive high-paid
jobs
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, but
this
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 can be addressed by encouraging the interested people to thrive in
this
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 by announcing extra benefits and by
following
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this
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, the situation can be alleviated successfully.

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task achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your main points. Though you provided a good general overview, specifying the arguments you will present can make your introduction stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use topic sentences to clearly present this main idea at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Work on the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more transitional words and phrases can help improve the logical progression of your ideas, creating smoother transitions.
task achievement
You addressed both parts of the task effectively, providing reasons and potential solutions to the issue of young people losing interest in teaching.
task achievement
The main points are well supported by relevant examples, making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demanding workload
  • financial incentives
  • prestigious career
  • career advancement
  • educational system
  • outdated curricula
  • negative portrayals
  • public perception
  • stressful profession
  • financial rewards
  • social status
  • job dissatisfaction
  • early career change
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