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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
The graph above displays the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 all over the world in five of the most popular mobile companies in the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2009 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a noticeable increase in the
sales
Use synonyms
 of both
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and Apple compared with the other three mobile brands over the five years. The chart reports that over the whole
period
Use synonyms
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of both
Samsung
Use synonyms
 and Apple increased.
Samsung
Use synonyms
 sold approximately 450
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 and Apple sold around 150
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the graph, there was an observable decrease in the
sales
Use synonyms
 of Nokia and LG.
Although
Linking Words
, Nokia's
sales
Use synonyms
 were similar to
Use synonyms
Samsung
Change noun form
Samsung's
show examples
 in 2009 as it sold around 450
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
in 2013, its
sales
Use synonyms
 decreased significantly to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
around 200
million
Use synonyms
 items,
while
Linking Words
 the
sales
Use synonyms
 of LG was ranging from approximately 100
million
Use synonyms
 to 50
million
Use synonyms
units
Use synonyms
 in the same
period
Use synonyms
. ZTE's
sales
Use synonyms
 increased slightly over the whole
period
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, period, samsung, million, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global sales
  • Mobile phone brands
  • Market share
  • Trends
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Technological advancements
  • Innovation
  • Consumer preferences
  • Demographics
  • Market dominance
  • Brand loyalty
  • Comparative analysis
  • Sales figures
  • Data interpretation
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