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Band 6

Some people think that to produce a happier society we must ensure that there is only a small difference in earnings between rich and poor. To what extend do you agree?

#people #society #difference #earnings
Some people believe that income inequality ought to be
lessen
Suggestion
lessened
 in order to create a happier
society
. I am in accord with
this
 position because it will bring equal opportunities for personal development and even result in more content
society
. Admittedly, it is argued that the
society
 naturally tends to be hierarchic and unequal. It is because some people come from wealthier backgrounds and,
thus
, have access to elite universities, luxury housing, and promising career opportunities, while others are left to survive from paycheck to paycheck. A vivid example of
such
 unbalance is capitalism, when a superior class is empowered because of money they possess. Fortunately, numerous researches reveal that wealth disproportion only heightens the tension in population and,
therefore
, prevents the
society
 from being happy. So currently people attempt to eliminate extreme income disparity. The driven force of every happy
society
 is equal opportunities for its members.
For example
, an access to higher education, well-paid jobs, and a better housing.
This
 would allow people with various backgrounds to succeed in
chosen
Suggestion
choosing
 career and lead to better economic security for households. As an immediate result, the
society
would consists
Suggestion
would consist
 of educated and employed people who are treated fairly and ready to contribute more to the
society
.
In addition
, it could solve a problem of brain drain due to the fact that people will feel more evaluated and happier in their own country and would not consider immigration. In conclusion, I firmly agree that a narrow gap between rich and poor could benefit to a happier
society
 due equal opportunities for every member and financial reliability.
Submitted by yablochkome on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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