IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

#people #children #life #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society, there is an upward tendency in the trend of becoming parents later of many couples. From my perspective, it gives more disadvantageous than advantageous influences. With regard to benefits, there are two main points that people make a decision to give birth at later stages of
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they have more
time
Use synonyms
 to enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
 when they are young. It is understandable that when they have babies, most of
time
Use synonyms
 for personal hobbies and passions usually reduces and
instead
Linking Words
 they spend
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 raising their children. The
second
Linking Words
 point is ensuring finance that supports for their children to live in a better condition. More often than not they just start their career and have lower income so they decide to focus on earning money until they have strong finance enough to take responsibility of their children.
However
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that drawbacks of having babies later bring to family
life
Use synonyms
 and society. The more
time
Use synonyms
 they spend delaying to have babies, the more negative the impact on both giving and raising babies
.
Accept space
.
 In fact, it is hard for mothers over the age of 35 to ensure health for both mothers and babies in the prenatal and postnatal period. Because at that
ages
Suggestion
age
, the health and physiology of women are not as good as when they were young.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their babies being born may be less physically healthy.
In addition
Linking Words
, the choice of having children
later usually
Accept comma addition
later, usually
 make an age gap between two generations.
This
Linking Words
 creates
an
Suggestion
a
 barrier to understand and communicate with their offspring in parenting. In conclusion, there are some reasons why current people prefer to have babies when being older, but I believed that
this
Linking Words
 makes more negative than positive impacts for on family
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: