Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is a contentious issue whether kids should be the only ones who decide about their social connections or if adults should infer

this

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. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on both points of view and explain why I opt for parents not being involved in their pupils' social connections.

To begin

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with, children are innocent. They do not know yet how dangerous some people may be for them.

For example

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, they can easily share their pocket money with a friend who

intents

Replace the word

intends

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to never see them again

nor

Correct word choice

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give them back.

Therefore

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, some believe the youngest generation should be encouraged to share with their parents who are they meeting with. If they do so, their family will stay alerted and can react on time in case of any danger.

On the other hand

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, youngsters should make their own mistakes rather than be always protected namely, by creating friendships that are not always beneficial for them. It does not only give them a lesson for the future

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apply

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but

also

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shows that their parents are full of trust towards them. Personally, I experienced

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approach with my family. They were letting me make my own choices.

Consequently

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, I became independent and learned how to set boundaries.

To conclude

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, some people argue if the young generation should have a choice to select their own friends or it should be restricted by the

olders

Correct your spelling

older

. Because freedom teaches independence, I believe it is worth letting kids make their own mistakes even though, at

first,

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it may be dangerous and painful for them.

Aga Tue Feb 18 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of the essay, but consider rephrasing 'opt for parents not being involved' to make it more neutral. Perhaps say 'argue for fewer parental influences.'

Task Achievement

In the first body paragraph, while you provide a relevant example, adding more detail about potential consequences would strengthen your argument. Consider discussing different types of dangers.

Task Achievement

Your second body paragraph presents a personal experience, which is great; however, you could enhance it by including a specific instance or lesson you learned from your mistakes.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure all transition phrases logically connect your ideas. For instance, the phrase 'On the other hand' could be followed by a clearer indication that you are presenting an opposing view, enhancing the coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider adding a short summary sentence in the conclusion. This would reinforce your main points and strengthen the conclusion's impact.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your personal experience adds authenticity to your argument and engages the reader on a personal level.

Coherence and Cohesion

Overall organization is clear with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in understanding your argument's flow.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Influence
Decision-making
Life experience
Cultural values
Family approval
Independence
Personal connections
Mutual respect
Interpersonal skills
External interference
Mental well-being
Negative influences
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Some people argue that parents should have a strong influence on their children’s choice of friends and life partners. Others believe that young people should make these decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

how personal values influence your decision-making process. Consider reflecting on the values that are most important to you, how they guide your actions, and how they shape your interactions with others. Use the vocabulary you've learned to support your ideas.

Some people think that the amount of money spent on the library is a waste as new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?