IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#wealth #guaranty #happiness
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Some people think that affluence does not provide sustainable peace of mind. I completely agree with
this
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 statement.
This
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 essay will
first
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 discuss about the short time pleasure of a luxurious lifestyle and followed by others factors, like spiritual needs to guarantee true human
happiness
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, money can afford luxuries for a short time period, but cannot satisfy an individual for a lifetime.
In other words
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, bliss is an innate power which comes from inside, through money, a person can only fulfil his excessive greed, but cannot sustain a pleasure of his internal satisfaction in the long run. It is exemplified that, in 2001 during the recession period in the United States of America, a larger number of people were wealthy one who could not compensate their
happiness
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 through luxurious things during a time of crisis and
hence
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 face suffering and anxiety.
Consequently
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,
this
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 is an ultimate reason why richness could not advantaged people to maintain
happiness
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.
On the other hand
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,
besides
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 wealth, there are some other factors, which guarantees human prosperity and contentment. These aspects are love, compassion, altruism, appreciation, et cetera.
Instead
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 of wealth, Lifelong joy can only be achieved by training and educating the sentient mind for these factors. The Mother Teresa, known as the mother of the nation, is one of the suitable examples, who spent all her life to make people and society happier by continuous struggle to achieve an innate power of bliss. In conclusion, people argue that
happiness
Use synonyms
 cannot be achieved by prosperity and wealth, because laughter is the human power which cannot be accomplished with luxurious things and it can only be fulfilled by showing love, compassion, altruism and appreciation for others.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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