IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The prevention of health problems and health illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree.

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
Some people believe that
treatment
 is more important than the prevention.
However
, in my opinion, I think prevention is better than cure and
government
 should allocate funds
accordingly
. In
this
 essay, I will propose possible illustrations for the same.
To begin
 with,
government
 should provide an appropriate budget to have cleanliness. It is a know for a fact that untidy or unsanitary places are the cause health issues and diseases often originate from
such
 places.
For example
, people living in slum often possess various kinds of medical conditions. Due to lack of infrastructure and manpower authorities are unable to maintain the hygienic conditions for the citizens.
Secondly
,
government
 should invest in research. It will help to counter serious and newborn diseases which will prevent health problems and
also
, as
treatment
 of patients is very costly and sometimes they cost a fortune even in
government
 hospitals.
For example
, in corona pandemic, many countries failed miserably due to lack of research in medical area and the
treatment
 was unmanageable. Studies in the medical field will definitely boost the country's economy. To conclude, it is necessary to prevent illness, so,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should focus on the sanitary conditions and medical research.
further
Suggestion
Further
, it will act as security shield against diseases and it will be a lot easier to overcome diseases as there would less number of patients. So, I strongly agree that prevention is better than
treatment
.
Submitted by airoygen123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: