IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In many country’s children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

#country’s #children #work #people #responsibility
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One of the most conspicuous trends in today’s world is child service. Some people believe that teenagers should focus on their studies, to learn the most in their early youth.
On the other hand
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, others argue that children can work part
time
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 to learn practical things. In my view, I believe that there is nothing wrong for students to learn and work at the same
time
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.
Firstly
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, early employment and earning pocket money make students feel independent and taste the importance of responsibility early in
life
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.
However
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, people will experience
time
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 management and spending leisure
time
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 productive for their own good.
For example
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, many rich countries allow students to performance for a limited
life
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 to the skill importance of earning. Needless to say, early business gives an idea of how the world works and early responsibilities will increase their focus.
Secondly
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, there are some pitfalls that can overwhelm the potential benefits of early industry practice. Children’s are not psychologically ready and early job can ruin their studies and make them endeavour full
life
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 to earn more money.
Moreover
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, working timings and studies can be overburdening for the students.
For instance
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, a recent survey explains that more than 60% of students quit their studies and start working for their rest of the
life
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.
Hence
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, too much of something is never good and early taste of money can be sometimes bitter. In conclusion, we can clearly understand that paid performance may have its side-effects, but practical practice is more important than book knowledge and the combination of both is the perfect ingredient.
Finally
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, the role of task training is too dire to ignore.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • child labor
  • exploitation
  • legislation
  • socioeconomic factors
  • work experience
  • developmental harm
  • regulating
  • safe working conditions
  • educational programs
  • International Labour Organization
  • responsibility
  • income
  • poverty
  • part-time work
  • development
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