IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health
Educating has a main role in the student's life and
health
 is an important item in the society. So schools can teach to the students about their
health
. I completely agree with
this
 issue.
This
 essay will offer two fundamental activities
such
 as
exercise
 and
food
 or diet.
Firstly
, a school program for students can help with their
health
.
For example
, schools should teach, how they do
exercise
 and how can
exercise
 to help their
body
.
Then
 teachers should spend a lot of time explaining how can work
body
 organization and what act of
exercise
 is better for a specific part of a
body
. So when they know about that, they do with excitement.
Moreover
, teachers offer to do
exercise
 in a group. Because the group can improve the
health
 mental.
Further
, the past articles represent the effect of group sports on the
body
.
In addition
, the
body
 needs
food
. Young people should eat nutrients because they are in a growing up age. Children should learn what
food
 is useful for the
body
. Schools should teach about the organization of the
body
 and what happens when a person eats
food
. As well as, explaining the diet and teach about calories is one of the items that can teach. They learn about junk
food
 in the early year. So they care about that before they habit. Summery, considering the points discussed above,
food
 and
exercise
 are significant to
health
 and schools should teach to children. Despite
this
, the society needs healthy people.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: