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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private healthcare outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #health #person #service #companies #healthcare
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A growing number of hospitals are now run by money-generating companies. While I accept that
this
 trend brings some drawbacks, I believe that it is more likely to have many long term advantages for all citizens. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that private
health
care
 services may have some disadvantages.
Firstly
, treatment fees of these centres are higher than those run by governments so that low-income individuals cannot afford to use their services.
In other words
, these
health
care
 service providers only serve a small group of citizens, which may pose a threat to social equality.
Furthermore
, governments may struggle to monitor treatment processes in private hospitals, leading to unwanted deaths. Take Vietnam,
for example
, many patients died because independent hospitals used unauthorized methods and some illegal types of medicine to treat them.
On the other hand
, I would argue that the drawbacks are outweighed by the potential benefits. Independent
health
care
 centres make a profound contribution to solving the overcrowding of state
health
care
 centres. A reduction in the number of patients may improve the treatment efficiency and the quality of hospitals’ services.
Besides
, private hospitals, which are operated by large companies or organizations tend to pour an enormous amount of money in research into cures for chronic diseases like cancer or diabetes type II.
As a result
, state budgets can be used for other important sectors
such
 as education or infrastructure.
Although
 private hospitals have immediate effects, it seems to me that the benefits are more significant for some mentioned reasons.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit-making companies
  • medical services
  • public healthcare systems
  • state-of-the-art facilities
  • personalized care
  • innovation and efficiency
  • equity and access
  • public institutions
  • healthcare disparity
  • accessibility
What to do next:
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