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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Health services are the basic necessity for a person. Private companies have made the health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

#health #services #necessity #person #companies #individuals #care
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It is commonly believed that private
healthcare
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 services are rather expensive for a mere person.
This
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 essay will analyse both merits and demerits of
health
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 services being catered by profit-making companies, and I think the disadvantages outweigh its advantages. On the one hand, state-owned
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healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 institutions may benefit from private
health
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 companies.
This
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 is because private hospitals may share responsibilities with state hospitals in taking care of the public’s
health
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, which decompresses the burden shouldered by national
health
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 systems in terms of overload of patients. With patients being allocated to a private hospital, the waiting lists for examinations and operations are substantially shortened in public hospitals.
As a result
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, state-own
health
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 systems are free from the overload, enabling more human and facility resources to be available.
Consequently
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,
this
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 system would allow each patient to be treated with higher quality as more machines and
health
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 staffs would be utilized per one person.
On the other hand
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, the biggest disadvantage of the private
healthcare
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 system is its price being extravagant for many ordinary people.
For example
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, one’s treatment fee in a profit-oriented hospital can twice or three times as high as it should be in those subsidized by the government. With
such
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 a high price, only the affluent can afford a treatment in a private hospital, while those with low salary cannot.
Consequently
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,
this
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 situation would worsen the well-being of the society in a whole, and deepen the gap between the rich and the poor. In conclusion, while private hospitals truly reduce the pressure on government-owned hospitals regarding the overload of patients, the profit-yielding
Use synonyms
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 system may put even a greater burden on its clients because of its extravagant cost of treatment.
Therefore
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, I believe its disadvantage obviously outweighs the advantage.
Submitted by thanhngannguyen1909 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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