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Band 6.5

Many people think that happiness relies upon the individual, while others think it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors
People have differing views about whether
happiness
 comes from their minds or affected by external factors.
Although
 it can be argued that
happiness
 depends upon other factors, I am of the opinion that the state of
mind
 plays a crucial role in making a person happy. On the one side of the discussion, there are people who believe that outside factors significantly affect their bliss. According to these people,
happiness
 is when they have been fulfilled all their expectations about life standard.
This
 claim is held because group supporters seem like putting external factors
such
 as well-paid jobs, beautiful houses, luxury cars, and so on
first
.
As a result
, they may feel satisfied whenever they achieve one of those things that they have always dreamt about. Another outside factor which
is proved
Suggestion
is proven
 by scientists that can affect
people
Suggestion
person's
happiness
 is the environment.
For example
, in Bhutan, due to the low rate of
pollution especially
Accept comma addition
pollution, especially
 air pollution, citizens there are well-known as having the happiest life on Earth. On the other side, from my personal perspective, I strongly advocate that the true
happiness
 derives from inside factors.
To begin
 with, the
fulfillment
a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires
fulfilment
 in the
mind
 which places deeply
inside
Suggestion
in
 our soul is the root of joyfulness. The justification for
this
 view is that our emotions are under the control of our state of
mind
 and heart.
Therefore
, once people feel happy at heart, even a pretty little thing
such
 as a hug could give them great pleasure.
Secondly
,
happiness
 can be established by a positive
mind
 and a peaceful soul. Recently, in order to escape from the stressful life, people are looking for some method that could help them improve their mental health. Meditation, yoga and self-help book are some worth exemplars mentioning. In conclusion, for all reasons that I mentioned above, it is my view that inner satisfaction brings people true
happiness
.
Submitted by linhnhi.thanhnu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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