Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In today's technologically advanced society, the question of whether children should have access to their mobile
phones
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during school hours is a topic of considerable debate.
While
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some argue that
phones
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can be detrimental to
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students'
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student's
show examples
academic performance and focus, others advocate for their potential
benefits
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in enhancing learning. In my opinion,
while
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there are valid arguments on both sides, a balanced approach that incorporates strict guidelines and supervision is essential to maximize the advantages of mobile
phones
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while
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mitigating their drawbacks. On one hand, proponents of banning mobile
phones
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during school hours argue that they can serve as significant distractions to
students
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. With the plethora of social media platforms, gaming apps, and messaging services available on smartphones,
students
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may find it challenging to resist the temptation to engage with their devices during class time.
This
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distraction can lead to a decline in academic performance as
students
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fail to fully engage with their lessons and miss important information conveyed by their teachers.
Moreover
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, the misuse of mobile
phones
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for activities
such
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as cheating or cyberbullying poses serious concerns for the well-being and safety of
students
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.
Conversely
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, advocates for allowing mobile phone usage in
schools
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highlight the potential educational
benefits
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that smartphones offer. With access to educational apps, online resources, and communication tools,
students
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can leverage their mobile
phones
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to supplement their learning and enhance their understanding of academic concepts.
For instance
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, language learning apps can facilitate vocabulary acquisition and improve language proficiency,
while
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educational games can make learning more interactive and engaging.
Additionally
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, in emergency situations, having a mobile phone readily available can enable
students
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to quickly reach out for assistance from teachers, parents, or emergency services.
However
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, rather than adopting an all-or-nothing approach,
schools
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should implement clear guidelines and policies regarding mobile phone usage.
For instance
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,
students
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could be allowed to
use
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their
phones
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during designated times,
such
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as breaks or independent study periods,
while
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usage during class time is strictly prohibited. Teachers should
also
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incorporate digital literacy education into the curriculum to teach
students
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how to
use
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their
phones
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responsibly and ethically. By fostering a culture of responsible technology
use
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and providing supervision and guidance,
schools
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can harness the potential
benefits
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of mobile
phones
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while
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minimizing their negative impacts on
students
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' academic performance and well-being. In conclusion,
while
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there are valid arguments both for and against allowing children to
use
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their
phones
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during school days, a balanced approach that incorporates strict guidelines and supervision is crucial. By striking a balance between leveraging the educational
benefits
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of mobile
phones
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and mitigating their potential distractions,
schools
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can create an environment that maximizes learning outcomes and prepares
students
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for the challenges of the digital age.

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task achievement
You've provided a well-structured argument discussing both views and your own opinion, maintaining a clear position throughout. To further enhance your task achievement, try to include more specific examples or personal experiences to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and your own opinion. This strong logical flow greatly assists in understanding your argument. For coherence and cohesion, consider varying your transitional phrases for a smoother flow between ideas.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that framed your discussion effectively, showcasing your position and summarizing the main points respectively.
supported main points
Your main points are well supported and articulated, which makes your argument convincing and robust.
language use
The use of complex structures and a wide range of vocabulary enhances the readability and sophistication of your text.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Minimize
  • Distractions
  • Prohibit
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate
  • Encourage
  • Social interaction
  • Educational apps
  • Safety tool
  • Emergencies
  • Responsible use
  • Balanced approach
  • Restrictions
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