IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in term of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #term #control #security #information
In
this
 world of technology today,
although
,
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 is clearly beneficial, but problems associated with its control and security of information are a drawback. In my opinion, I believe that technology along with its brighter side has some flaws too, which are associated with problems like privacy issues and leakage of financial information.
Firstly
, the privacy issues
is
Suggestion
are
 the main problem. As the social networking websites are becoming more popular, so is the threat of leakage of personal data. The sites
such
 as Facebook and Instagram where people post their personal details along with their pictures fall as an easy prey for criminals who can use their identity.
This
 will not only increase a problem for people whose identity is stolen, but for the rest of the community too.
Moreover
, the
internet
 can help criminal to hide by using another person’s material and become a big challenge to seek them.
Secondly
, the other issue which has shaken the financial system is hacking of financial sites. Hacking is one of the prominent problem of using
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 for financial transactions. As online shopping and banking is making their ways on a bigger platform to reach many customers, so is the cyber crime. The financial information related to the credit and debit card is more vulnerable as it is mostly used by many people to pay their bills as well as for shopping, sometimes by registering at unsecured sites unknowingly will lead the customer to lose their financial data which indeed is a lose to people as well as the banks. In conclusion,
although
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 is beneficial, but has its drawbacks too, which is indeed a
set back
an unfortunate happening that hinders or impedes; something that is thwarting or frustrating
setback
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: