IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than the private companies. To what exend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is sometimes argued that
governments
Use synonyms
 should conduct and
manages
Correct subject-verb agreement
manage
show examples
 scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 rather than private companies. Personally, I firmly disagree with the perspective for two main reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
governments
Use synonyms
 cannot fully concentrate on scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 owing to the fact that they have a lot
of
Change preposition
apply
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on their plate to take care of.
This
Linking Words
 leads to undeniable delays in coming up
discoveries
Change preposition
with discoveries
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resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
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 in inefficiency in nations' growth and development.
This
Linking Words
 has been evidenced by numerous academic
studies
Punctuation problem
studies,
show examples
 the latest of which is one published by the University of Russia in 2019, concluding that private entities can reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusions
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 5 times faster than government entities. The study
further
Linking Words
 shows that
the-state-of-art
Use the right word
the state-of-the-art
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 discoveries have been done by the private
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 over the years, as they have only one goal to achieve.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, political changes in
governments
Use synonyms
 can affect the progress of the research
due to
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 the fact that every political party tries to conduct its own research to look good
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the public's eyes.
Therefore
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, they stop continuing
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 which have been started by previous governors when they
elected
Verb problem
were elected
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.
As a consequence
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, there would not
any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 accomplishment.
For instance
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, creating a national car brand in Turkey was led by the government, which
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
started decades ago
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, there is no progress yet, as every parliament changes the procedures when they start to rule the country. In conclusion, I strongly dissent from the idea of carrying out and controlling scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 by
governments
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
, given the fact that
governments
Use synonyms
 have many other issues to rule and politics involve their action.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and stays focused on one idea.
task achievement
Provide more examples or evidence to make your points stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear transitions between points to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion at the beginning of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public welfare
  • profit motivation
  • fundamental research
  • space exploration
  • competition
  • ethics
  • social responsibilities
  • equitable distribution
  • monopolies
  • efficiency
  • agility
  • national security
  • sensitive technologies
  • political interference
  • scientific freedom
  • research agendas
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