IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, it has been observed that the populace of the nations consists of more of the youngsters than the elderly people. In my opinion, the presence of the young citizens help the
country
Use synonyms
 in working smoothly due to their knowledge on advanced technologies and physical strength they have, which clearly overweight with the being of elders in our society, who posses real life-experiences. Talking about the positives
first
Linking Words
, the younglings have the physical strength and the latest technology information, which is a necessity in today's day-to-day life.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are full of energy and have physical, mental and psychological well-being, which can help them to handle rigorous daily activities, smoothly. In the UK,
for instance
Linking Words
, it has been monitored that the number of middle-aged individuals is more when compared to the old-aged ones, as a consequence, it has shown a tremendous pace in handling of daily chores effectively and efficiently.
Hence
Linking Words
, the young people are seen to have a more efficient life, which can be helpful for a nation,
besides
Linking Words
 to the individual themselves. Coming to the other side, the old-age people hold experiences, with the help of which any situation can be handled easily by them. Their life-skills and experiences could be useful in understanding a situation, and resolving it wisely with the help of information they hold.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can understand the incident and can manage to overcome any unexpected occurrences calmly, unlike the young group, who might end up creating a mess with the complicated situations. In a
country
Use synonyms
 like India, where the population dwelling contains an almost equal number of young and older people, could be the best example for
this
Linking Words
 scenario. Here, most of the political leaders are older people, they are observed to be competent enough to manage any happening in the
country
Use synonyms
 in a wise manner, in turn, boosts the
country
Use synonyms
's overall economy. Overall, the presence of elderly people is helpful in handling the
country
Use synonyms
's health and economy. In a nutshell, albeit the life-experience that older people posses could be useful in dealing with multiple unfortunate occurrences happening in the
country
Use synonyms
, but the strength of young-generation people and knowledge towards the technology advancement could be more helpful for a
country
Use synonyms
 to elevate the growth curve of their nation, which crystal clears that advantages of middle-age people outweigh the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: