The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Scientific breakthroughs are rapidly changing our lifestyle on
this
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planet in the twenty-first century. Many argue that alleviating the quality of citizen's
life
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ought to be the priority of scientific endeavours. I wholeheartedly endorse
this
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viewpoint owing to the higher levels of convenience and affordability associated with it. On the one hand, scientists constantly introduce advanced technologies that facilitate our lifestyle and make it more comfortable in various aspects.
For example
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, the introduction of virtual communication applications and social media platforms offers the opportunity to contact anybody globally regardless of geographical location.
Moreover
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, these communication devices are used not only in personal interactions to improve
life
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but
also
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in professional capacities.
As a result
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, many multinationals and entrepreneurial enterprises nowadays allow their employees to select remote or hybrid options
as well as
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attend career meetings virtually.
Hence
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,
this
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contributes to a higher quality of
life
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as people face fewer challenges
such
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as commuting or being in stressful workplaces.
On the other hand
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, technological breakthroughs which are a direct outcome of scientific accomplishments make citizen's way of
life
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extremely affordable.
Although
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cutting-edge computers and cell phones used to cost a fortune a few decades ago, thanks to science, the latest versions of state-of-the-art technology are currently affordable for the overwhelming majority of the population,
for instance
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.
Furthermore
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, if scientists figure out methods for mass production, it can result in an enormous scale of manufactured items which leads to a dramatic reduction in the cost for ordinary consumers.
Thus
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, less expensive prices
also
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constitute a tremendous contribution in order to provide a prosperous
life
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for the average citizen. In conclusion, I unequivocally advocate that the utmost importance during scientific projects and discoveries should be given to humans and enhancing their livelihoods. Meanwhile,
this
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fast-paced trend not only resulted in a more convenient lifestyle but
also
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led to much broader access to once extravagant and luxurious devices. I forecast even more extraordinary and mind-boggling achievements in a not-distant future.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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General
While your essay is well-structured and comprehensive, you could improve by providing even more detailed examples to support your points further. Additionally, make sure to vary your sentence structure to enhance readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try linking your ideas more fluidly between paragraphs to make the transition smoother.
General
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The main points are well-supported with logical examples, illustrating how science can improve lives through both convenience and affordability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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