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Writing Samples
Band 4

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #children #adults #rise
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Over the
last
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 few years,
obesity
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 has risen significantly. Today,
obesity
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 not only affects
adults but
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adults, but
also
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 children. Many people keep eating junk
food
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 regularly and not many people are aware with
obesity
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.
Obesity
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 has become worse and worse because of it and it is important to suppress the level of
obesity
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.
This
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 essay will look at the main causes of the
problem
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, and propose some solutions. One of the main causes of the
problem
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 is people keep eating junk
food
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 regularly. The junk
food
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 contains unhealthy nutrition and affect their body metabolism, which can lead to
obesity
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. In Indonesia, most people prioritize delicious
food
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instead
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 of healthy foods. The solution is
government
Suggestion
the government
a government
 or people who understand about health should educate people, so people will understand why they should eat healthy foods
instead
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 of delicious foods. A
second
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 cause of the
problem
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 is people are too lazy to move their bodies. Most people are too lazy to exercise.
As a result
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, they are hoarding fat in their body.
This
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 habit
also
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 leads many people to
obesity
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. The solution to
this
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problem
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 is that more people need to be aware of the importance of exercising. It is exhausting, but it is one solution to prevent
obesity
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. All in all,
obesity
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 level has risen significantly due to the bad habits.
Obesity
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 is a serious health
problem
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 that people need to cope with. My view is that people should be more aware of their health and condition.
Submitted by aseight.as on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Overweight
  • Epidemic
  • Sedentary
  • Processed food
  • Fast food
  • Nutritional education
  • Awareness
  • Stress
  • Emotional eating
  • Genetic factors
  • Access
  • Healthy food options
  • Marketing
  • Urbanization
  • Lifestyles
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