IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that a person’s success is as a result of the way he has been brought up by his parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #success #parents
Some people believe that an individual successful life is an outcome of his parents' principles, whereas, some people argue that it is a result of his own hard work and perseverance.
However
, I agree with
this
 viewpoint that a person writes his own story with struggle, own wisdom and winning attitude without assistance of the parents' advice or counselling.
To begin
 with, almost everything is achieved by hard work and determination.
This
 attitude pushes a person towards his goal as well as various mistakes made him/her skilful, rational and innovative.
For example
, history has evidence of great personalities which did not have rich backgrounds, or without parents, become successful identities in different fields
such
 as Cristiano Ronaldo, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.
Hence
, the parents' guidance is secondary whereas hard work of an individual with his own decisions is vitally important.
Secondly
, a kid who is pampered by guardians may not explore as much as a kid brought with full freedom can explore more and not worry from failures. The overprotective behaviour of their parents might not allow them to pursue his talent or hobby which he or she loves to perform.
For instance
, most of the singers and sports players are from poor backgrounds si
nce d
Suggestion
for
ifferent families train their children so that these professions do not match their standards.
Thus
, sometimes family principles or status would not allow a child to choose his own path. Overall, it seems advisable that parents' upbringing is not certainly imperative to achieve any goal.
However
, the undisputed attitude towards your target is the main factor of a successful career.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: