IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a belief that
people
Use synonyms
 who born with definite talents like sports or music. Some individuals agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and other
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
.
Although
Linking Words
 there is a chance for every person to be a sportsperson or musician, they need to learn basic skills to improve in their favourite fields. The idea of being talented at the firstborn age comes from the heritage of family or ancestors. There are many scientific studies that prove
this
Linking Words
 theory and many experiments have been done to find certain reasons. One of them is related to DNA analysis human body.
For instance
Linking Words
, Homayoun Shajarian is a famous Iranian traditional singer and many
people
Use synonyms
 follow his artworks a lot. His father, Mohammad Reza Shajarian whose artworks are brilliant and memorable in Iran. There are other examples that the family did not have a talented person before.
For example
Linking Words
, Ludwig Bethovean is a super-talented person who has incredible skill in playing the piano and composing music. On the other side, many
people
Use synonyms
 learn to try hard to reach their goals
instead
Linking Words
 of just relying on their talent.
However
Linking Words
, talent can influence
people
Use synonyms
 to push them forward rapidly, but making attempts plays a crucial role in being more ambitious about their future. In fact, trying hard helps
people
Use synonyms
 to learn from their mistakes and deal with challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, Isaac Newton is one of the most famous
people
Use synonyms
 in physics and mathematics. One of his discoveries is the three laws of dynamic physics. He failed most of the time but eventually, he could prove those equations which helped
people
Use synonyms
 improve science.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
people
Use synonyms
 are born with certain talents,
while
Linking Words
 other groups disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. To my mind, both ideas are correct, but talents just can be good when
people
Use synonyms
 have enough experience in their profession making them more creative in their lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay offers a balanced discussion of the topic, presenting arguments for both views and providing relevant examples. However, you should spend more time on proofreading to avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing which can obscure your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by clearly separating the opposing views. For example, dedicate one paragraph to those born with talent and another to the argument that training can make anyone skilled. This would make your argument clearer and more organized.
coherence cohesion
You need to strengthen your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. This will enhance the overall coherence and improve the readability.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples such as Homayoun Shajarian and Isaac Newton to support your arguments, which adds credibility and depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in your essay and presents your own opinion, although it could benefit from stronger phrasing to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: