It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a belief that
people
who born with definite talents like sports or music. Some individuals agree with this
idea and other people
disagree with this
. Although
there is a chance for every person to be a sportsperson or musician, they need to learn basic skills to improve in their favourite fields.
The idea of being talented at the firstborn age comes from the heritage of family or ancestors. There are many scientific studies that prove this
theory and many experiments have been done to find certain reasons. One of them is related to DNA analysis human body. For instance
, Homayoun Shajarian is a famous Iranian traditional singer and many people
follow his artworks a lot. His father, Mohammad Reza Shajarian whose artworks are brilliant and memorable in Iran. There are other examples that the family did not have a talented person before. For example
, Ludwig Bethovean is a super-talented person who has incredible skill in playing the piano and composing music.
On the other side, many people
learn to try hard to reach their goals instead
of just relying on their talent. However
, talent can influence people
to push them forward rapidly, but making attempts plays a crucial role in being more ambitious about their future. In fact, trying hard helps people
to learn from their mistakes and deal with challenges. For instance
, Isaac Newton is one of the most famous people
in physics and mathematics. One of his discoveries is the three laws of dynamic physics. He failed most of the time but eventually, he could prove those equations which helped people
improve science.
To sum up
, some people
think that people
are born with certain talents, while
other groups disagree with this
opinion. To my mind, both ideas are correct, but talents just can be good when people
have enough experience in their profession making them more creative in their lives.Submitted by brightstargalaxy on
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task achievement
Your essay offers a balanced discussion of the topic, presenting arguments for both views and providing relevant examples. However, you should spend more time on proofreading to avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing which can obscure your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by clearly separating the opposing views. For example, dedicate one paragraph to those born with talent and another to the argument that training can make anyone skilled. This would make your argument clearer and more organized.
coherence cohesion
You need to strengthen your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. This will enhance the overall coherence and improve the readability.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples such as Homayoun Shajarian and Isaac Newton to support your arguments, which adds credibility and depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in your essay and presents your own opinion, although it could benefit from stronger phrasing to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?