IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

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Desire
Use synonyms
 is the passion of achieving something. People sometimes remain unsuccessful in
attaing
to gain with effort
attaining
 the desired one, and
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is called
failure
Use synonyms
. There,
occasionall
now and then or here and there
occasionally
occasional
, remains a relation between the attempts and
obtaing
come into possession of
obtain
obtaining
 the goal, but
this
Linking Words
 always happens! Every
person
Use synonyms
 has a distinct aim in his life. He,
therefore
Linking Words
, works hard to become
succeed
Suggestion
succeeding
 in reaching his goal. The
person
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, all the time never be
succeed
Suggestion
succeeded
succeeding
 in his mission.
For example
Linking Words
, the king Napoleon tried several times to regain his lost regime. He,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, was unable for his six attempts.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon, notwithstanding, indicates his
desire
Use synonyms
 was not strong enough.
In other words
Linking Words
,
failure
Use synonyms
 always does not signify the
lackings
the state of needing something that is absent or unavailable
lacks
 of eagerness in obtaining the wish. Sometimes, the attempts in reaching the goal
was not so organized
Suggestion
were not so organized
. As a consequence, the
person
Use synonyms
 remains unable to obtain his
desire
Use synonyms
. The
critcs
Suggestion
, in
this
Linking Words
cases
Suggestion
case
, say that, it proves that the
desire
Use synonyms
 was not so strong. Regardless of
this
Linking Words
 criticism, the
person
Use synonyms
 tries continuously to achieve his aim.
For instance
Linking Words
, Napoleon regained his kingdom after his sixth attempts, and
this
Linking Words
 says that
failure
Use synonyms
 in attempts does not signify the week
desire
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it can be said that,
desire
Use synonyms
 and attempts are closely related. Failing in obtaining the success does not imply the fragile
desire
Use synonyms
, it would not be wise to say
this
Linking Words
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, it would be more appropriate in saying; inadequate attempts give people the taste of
failure
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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