some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is thought by some that a university education is a stepping stone to building up a lucrative employment status in life,
while
other groups believe that getting a job directly after school discipline is the better option . Although
tertiary studies can reinforce the future race development of an individual .In my opinion , I affirm that interested students must be promoted to start working straight away after acquiring their basic education.Let us discuss this
in detail in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
with, let us shed light on the argument that higher study is crucial for a better future. First and foremost, most professionals are highly qualified. In addition
, the doctors, engineers or whoever decorating the higher positions in society are well qualified with graduation and post-graduation certificates that made them lead successful and satisfactory careers in their lives. For example
, in India, the staff members of the schools are categorised as principals, teachers, administrators and other lower-grade positions based on their academic qualifications which include the level of their degrees that helped them to create a successful pathway.
On the other hand
, there are certain points to support the decision to work without university qualifications. Primarily, personal skills are the building blocks of a successful staff member in his organisation. Moreover
, leadership qualities, time management, emotional intelligence and collaboration and cooperation among a team play a crucial role in the achievements of a staff member. For instance
, the success of the Microsoft company is the patience and leadership qualities of Bill Gates rather than his tertiary qualifications.
In conclusion, the overall
development of a successful course is the subtotal of educational certificates and the innate characteristics of an individual. In my point of view, the factors behind a rewarding career are decided by the personal interest of a person whether he or she is affiliated with studies or would like to cultivate their personal skills.Submitted by emonsunderland2015 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task only partially, presenting a position that is not fully developed or exemplified. Ensure that you address all parts of the task equally and provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, while there is an attempt to organize ideas, the logical structure needs strengthening. The connections between ideas are not always clear, leading to a lack of fluidity in the arguments. Use a variety of cohesive devices and ensure that paragraphs flow logically one to the other.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they require improvement. Both should clearly present the topic, state the purpose of the essay, and, in the case of the conclusion, effectively summarize the main points made. Aim for clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Your main points require greater support through more concrete and precise examples. Each viewpoint should be explored in-depth and supported by specific, relevant examples to illustrate the point being made.