IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#failure #proof #desire #wasn’t
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The passion of achieving something is called desire. Sometimes, people remain unsuccessful in attaining their goal, and
this
 phenomenon is known as failure. There is a relation between the desire and attempts, and become successful. Every man has a specific goal in his life, and he works hard to be succeed in achieving their aim. In some cases, he remains unsuccessful in his efforts, but that does not mean his wish was poor. The individual should try again and again to catch his goal. There are many incidents in history of
such
 facts.
For example
, the king, Napoleon tried his best for six times to regain his lost kingdom, but failed all the time. He,
however
, did not give up his hope, and he continued his endeavour. Failure in gaining the wish all the time does not prove the weak desire. The attempts, notwithstanding, may be inadequate in some way in attaining the goal. The critic,
however
, may give blame for unsuccessful, but the person should not take it seriously. The guy should not abandon his efforts. He should try again and again, and
finally
, he might achieve his desired goal.
For instance
, Napoleon, tried six times with his full strength, and after seventh time he was able to regain his regime. In conclusion, it can be said that, attempts and success are closely related. Without efforts anyone can not achieve his goal, but he might be unsuccessful in his initial attempts. He,
therefore
, should not be hopeless, rather, he should start the work with more energy.
Submitted by sarkermbg07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: