Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

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this

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ambitious world, money is trending. Indeed, more and more communities are evaluated based on their property. Some others believe that working hard will eventually make them successful

while

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others ,

on the contrary

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, believe that it is all about being wealthy and having good looks.

While

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both views are logical,

this

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author argues that determination is the key to being more powerful. In

this

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essay, the author will research both perspectives by giving clear examples. Alternatively, external beauty and wealth have received more attention in

this

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digital day.

While

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a large number of families all over the world need to have manual work to do, some young people who have a good-looking appearance use

this

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to have a high salary and seem to be more easily

such

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as jobs in fashion or model.

Additionally

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, wealthy people think that having the amount of money is being successful and well-known. In a similar case, it is easy to see a lot of rich communities show up their property and call it prosperous. From another viewpoint, working hard with a portion of ambition will eventually be the reason for reaching your goals. But

this

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needs an area of patience.

For instance

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, students have to work hard and dedicate a lot to universities before graduating and are willing to start working. There are those who work hard to reach their goals rather than give up.

Moreover

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, we often listen to successful businessman talk about how they started a career they didn't admire but ended up becoming rich and associate

this

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with their dedication and a lot of determination until the end when they achieve their passion.

To sum up

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, there is nothing that can replace your determination and backbreaking effort,

that is

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the only way to make you successful, even fortune or aspect.

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task achievement

While your essay tackles the given prompt and presents a clear stance, incorporating a broader range of specific examples to support your points could strengthen your argument. Consider drawing from diverse fields or personal anecdotes to elucidate your views.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion but could benefit from more varied sentence structures and smoother transitions between ideas. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of your essay, making your arguments more persuasive and engaging.

task achievement

To improve on task achievement, ensure your ideas are not only relevant but are explored in depth. While you’ve presented examples, further elaboration on how these examples specifically support your thesis could enrich your argument. This makes your position more compelling and your rationale clearer to the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
tenacity
socioeconomic status
aesthetic standards
meritocracy
disparities
innate characteristics
equitable opportunities
success metrics
fortuitous circumstances

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

The process below shows the production of sugar by a German company for supermarkets and restaurants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the key features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.