IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions?

#scientists #environment #people #energy #actions
Today our
environment
 is negatively affected by the excessive use of fossil fuels, which many people consume in various ways in their daily lives,
such
 as petrol, diesel for vehicles and coal for generating electricity. But most of the people are not aware of the effects of their actions have on the
environment
. So they should be taught about how to make better decisions to save our planet. Only government cannot do
this
 alone the local bodies should
also
 be encouraged to protect the
environment
.
Firstly
, people have not started to change the way they live due to the lack of
awareness
 because most of the people are illiterate so they have no idea about the consequences of the excessive use of energy sources on the
environment
.
That is
 to say, many activists keep preaching about how everyone can decrease their energy consumption, but people do not want to get knowledge about the alternatives from which they consume energy because they do not want to modify their lifestyle.
Secondly
, it is the responsibility of the scientists and activists to increase the
awareness
 of the public. There are many ways which can be adopted like public campaign, plays,
also
 with the help of the media to give sufficient amount of knowledge to public.
In addition
 to
this
plural of "this"
these
 people should not only be taught about the negative impacts they have on the
environment but
Accept comma addition
environment, but
also
 they should be motivated to make better decisions. In conclusion, due to the lack of
awareness
 people do not want to change their lifestyle and
also
 they have no idea about the consequences they would have in the future. So there is a need to spend wisely to increase the
awareness
 and knowledge of the consumers about better options for satisfying their everyday every needs.
Submitted by deep02414 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: