IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

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There are different views on whether high school graduates should spend some time travelling or working before entering
university
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.
While
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 taking a gap year can provide valuable life experience, going directly to
university
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also
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 offers several advantages.
This
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 essay will discuss both approaches before explaining why I believe immediate
university
Use synonyms
 study is more beneficial. On the one hand, travelling or working before
university
Use synonyms
 can help young people gain practical experience and develop a clearer understanding of their future goals. Many
students
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 are uncertain about which major or career path suits them best. By working in a real environment or travelling to different places, they can learn more about themselves and make better educational decisions.
However
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, taking a gap year
also
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 has disadvantages. Some
students
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 may lose their academic momentum and find it difficult to return to studying after a long break.
In addition
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, spending a year or two outside
education
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of education
show examples
 may delay their career progression.
On the other hand
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, going directly to
university
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 allows
students
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 to continue their education without interruption. At
this
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 stage, they are already accustomed to studying and are often highly motivated to learn.
As a result
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, they may achieve better academic performance.
Furthermore
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, graduating earlier enables
students
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 to enter the workforce sooner and begin building their careers.
Nevertheless
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, some young people may choose a major without fully understanding their interests, which could lead them to change their field of study later. In conclusion, both approaches have advantages and disadvantages.
Although
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 travelling or working before
university
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 can help
students
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 gain valuable experience and self-awareness, I believe that going directly to
university
Use synonyms
 is generally the better option because it allows
students
Use synonyms
 to maintain their academic focus and achieve their career goals sooner.

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task response
Add one real and clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain your main idea a bit more in each body paragraph. Some points are clear, but they can be more full.
task response
Your answer covers both views and gives your opinion, which is good. Keep this clear style.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Your essay is easy to follow, but a few ideas can connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point longer with one more support sentence. This will help the flow of the paragraph.
task response
You answer all parts of the task and give a clear opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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