IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International air travel has a negative impact upon the environment and should therefore be restricted.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern life,
plane
Correct article usage
a plane
show examples
 or
helicopter
Correct article usage
a helicopter
show examples
 is one of the most popular forms of transport.
However
Linking Words
, international
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
causes
Verb problem
has
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 a bad effect on the
environment
Use synonyms
 and should be limited. I agree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 view, but I can find some benefits of using
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
. I think that there are many drawbacks. If
people
Use synonyms
 don't limit
to
Correct word order
travel to
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
, the quality of
air
Use synonyms
 will
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 affected. Because planes, helicopters
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are
air
Use synonyms
transports
Punctuation problem
transports,
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 need to consume a large amount of fuel, they emit lots of CO2 into the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, our health
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is very important to
us
Punctuation problem
us,
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 can be affected too.
Moreover
Linking Words
, CO2 can turn the clear atmosphere into foggy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the sight of
people
Use synonyms
 will be narrowed and the beauty of
views
Correct article usage
the views
show examples
 in the city will be worse.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I can see some benefits if
people
Use synonyms
 use
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
. Because when you
travel
Use synonyms
 by
air
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can spend less time than
use
Wrong verb form
they would using
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 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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. If
people
Use synonyms
 want to go abroad or move with
far
Correct word choice
long
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 distance, they can easily find several suitable flights for them to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, using means of transport is not
comfortable
Rephrase
as comfortable
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 as
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
. Because plane always has many various services, they make passengers feel pleasant during a long trip. Other factors which make the
environment
Use synonyms
 more polluted
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
aware
Correct word choice
the awareness
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 of
people
Use synonyms
. Because they always throw the trash in the rivers,
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they burn them so the CO2 emissions from
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 affect to fresh
air
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, travelling by
air
Use synonyms
 always has advantages and disadvantages
base
Replace the word
based
show examples
 on
Correct article usage
the ways
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people’s
Check wording
people
show examples
using
Wrong verb form
use it
show examples
. I think we should use more public transport
instead
Linking Words
 of travelling by
air
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we can protect our
environment
Use synonyms
.

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task-response
Plan more. Have one idea per paragraph and make a clear plan before you write.
coherence
Be clear about your main view in the start and keep it to the end.
task-achievement
The essay shows a view that agrees with the topic.
coherence
It gives both sides, not only one idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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