IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #work #school #development
Over the
last
 few years, numerous changes have been witnessed in the field of commuting. Nowadays, people tend to spend more and more
time
 on travels between their homes and places for work or studies. While it is considered by some that
such
 a tendency might provide citizens with particular benefits, I believe that it negatively affects people’s lives. On the one hand, some people could argue that long travels to work or school might ensure citizens with additional
time
. In fact, extra
time
 would enable passengers to do their uncompleted tasks.
In other words
, 30 minutes of additional
time
 on a bus or a train would allow an employee to check their yesterday’s report or would enable to remake their homework. Eventually, people might leave their tasks for hours spent while travelling in the morning, thereby allocating more
time
 for personal purposes in the evenings.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that commuters would be obliged to wake up early in order to be at work or at school
in
Suggestion
on
time
.
This
 would constitute a reason for going to bed soon as well, leading to a shortage of the evening
time
 spent
on
Suggestion
with
 family, entertainment or any other private activities.
Consequently
, I am certain that
instead
 of enjoying free
time
 during late hours, people would fall asleep soon so as to wake up early to arrive to their
destinations
Suggestion
destination
 in
time
. Indisputably, it would worsen citizens’ lives. To summarise,
although
 some consider long commuting as an opportunity to finish uncompleted tasks, I am inclined to believe that it will definitely result in a sufficient decrease of
time
 spent on private purposes in the evenings.
Submitted by roman.tokaryk0093 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: