All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #laptop #school

There is an argument that a complimentary

laptop

should be provided to all the children as they begin high school.

This

essay agrees with

this

statement

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because in a

nowadays

Rephrase

apply

show examples

laptop

computer is a necessary tool and

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

students more opportunities in the teaching process.

Firstly

, having the proper tools in the education process gives a lot of benefits. It

lets

Verb problem

apply

show examples

save

Correct subject-verb agreement

saves

show examples

time, so the students can focus on the key tasks. The current students have access to new technologies and they can

use

them. Laptops make research, writing, reading, communication, collaboration, and presentations easier.

For example

; pupils who want to do their homework, do not have to go to the library. They can

use

online books or

use

the school website to find every material which they need. That gives them extra time to do it more accurately and correctly.

Secondly

, the access to a

laptop

is very helpful in the syllabus. That gives opportunities to do

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

everything

easier

Rephrase

more easily

show examples

and more

efficient

Change the word

efficiently

show examples

. The pupils can exploit a lot of software

such

as classrooms to contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different pupils or teachers,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

can

use

excel

Capitalize word

Excel

show examples

to do necessary

count

Fix the agreement mistake

counts

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and

presents

Wrong verb form

present

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data.

This

tool gives one more benefit, as well. The schoolchildren can adopt them in special situations. Instance; in pandemic time they can continue their education process,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

can study without leaving home. In conclusion,

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

a free

laptop

for

every

Correct your spelling

everyone

show examples

who starts high school is essential to allow every student to develop and give the same chance for everyone to access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new technology.

Submitted by kopernik.supermarket.chalvy on Sat Apr 25 2020

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear opinion statement at the beginning and a concise summary at the end. The logical structure is somewhat disjointed at times.

task achievement

The response addresses the task to a fair extent but could benefit from a more explicit opinion statement and a clearer conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Scientists agree that many people eat too mucch junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

University students must pay all tuition fees, because it benefits mostly them individually, rather than the society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

some government spend a lot of money on exploring space, some feel that this investment is justified while others thinlk that money should be spent on public services like healthcare and education. discuss both views and give your opinion.