IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities or to develop new towns in rural areas.

#houses #countries #populations #towns #cities #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are strong arguments to be made in support of creating more houses to satisfy people's demand because of an increase in population. From the standpoint of some people
,
Accept space
,
building houses in existing towns or cities is considered to be as fruitful a policy as expected. Others
,
Accept space
,
however
,
Accept space
,
believe the saying that converting towns into modern cities would be a key to housing problems. There are a number of factors which explain the tendency of people to approve of rising
houses
Suggestion
house
housing
 in cities
.
Accept space
.
Perhaps
,
Accept space
,
the most persuasive reason is that in the modern era of today
,
Accept space
,
an influx of people
have
Suggestion
has
proclivity
Suggestion
a proclivity
the proclivity
 to own a living
place
 in cities which can offer them to lead a comfortable life, by earning money with the help of facilities created in cities.It has been well proven that most of the people from rural areas come to cities with the aim of studying or working
,
Accept space
,
having witnessed the opportunities in
this
place
,
Accept space
,
they are inclined to seek for a new house
.
Accept space
.
Governments,
therefore
,
Accept space
,
should allocate capital disbursements into constructing skyscrapers and high rises in cities on people's demand.
Additionally
,
Accept space
,
from the financial perspective, rising living places in cities in attempt to meeting the requirements of a growing number of people
,
Accept space
,
costs less compared to developing new towns in the countryside.Granted
,
Accept space
,
the constructions of new towns in rural areas require much more
efforts
Suggestion
effort
 as well as money and it takes time to attract businesses to set up their work in
this
 emerged cities
,
Accept space
,
of course
,
Accept space
,
people have reluctant to leave for
this
 type of
place
 which is not formed as cities already built.It means that towns are the most suitable
place
 to rise houses so as to handle the problem of an increase in population. Opponents of
such
 research argue that it is better to
built
Suggestion
build
more living
Suggestion
more livable
 places in the suburbs of the city for people who are in need of it.The clearest justification is that no sooner do civil servers convert rural areas into globalised towns or cities
,
Accept space
,
than
subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)
then
 people are less likely to leave their
place
 since the towns newly emerged can provide them studying accompanied by working facilities.
As a result
, the matter of
growing population
Suggestion
the growing population
 in cities becomes less important
.
Accept space
.
It is at
this
 point that by building new towns
,
Accept space
,
governments are able to solve not only the problem of
housing but
Accept comma addition
housing, but
also
 the issue related to unemployment and they are able to prevent people to carry out a crime as well
,
Accept space
,
by creating more job opportunities
.
Accept space
.
What's more
,
Accept space
,
they can
built
Suggestion
build
 more houses
such
 as high rises in the outskirts rather than cities since in the
countyside
rural regions
countryside
,
Accept space
,
there is an ample amount of land which allows
government
Suggestion
the government
 to create houses to
fullfil
put in effect
fulfil
 the demand of individuals in terms of living
place
.
Therefore
,
Accept space
,
transforming rural areas into cities turns out to be the answer to the problem of housing. Considering both points of view
,
Accept space
,
it seems to me that newly constructed towns and cities are proven to be as plausible a solution as thought in order for people to provide
houses
Suggestion
housing
.
Submitted by babakulovabutolib on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: