IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The issue of whether
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 or individual
sports
Use synonyms
 better prepare
children
Use synonyms
 for their future careers has sparked considerable debate.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 foster essential collaboration skills for the workplace, others argue that individual
sports
Use synonyms
 are more effective in building independence and self-discipline. In my view,
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 offer more relevant preparation for
work
Use synonyms
 life, particularly in today’s collaborative
work
Use synonyms
 environments. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, it is argued that
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 are better at preparing
children
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
 life.
This
Linking Words
 is because these
sports
Use synonyms
 teach young people how to communicate, cooperate, and
work
Use synonyms
 toward shared goals—skills that are essential in most modern workplaces.
For example
Linking Words
, playing football or basketball often requires coordinating with others under pressure, similar to how
team
Use synonyms
 projects operate in corporate settings.
As a result
Linking Words
, many believe that
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 provide a realistic and practical training ground for real-world collaboration.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that individual
sports
Use synonyms
 help
children
Use synonyms
 develop personal responsibility and self-reliance. One reason is that athletes in individual
sports
Use synonyms
 like tennis or swimming must manage their own progress, effort, and motivation without relying on teammates.
For instance
Linking Words
, a young swimmer must take full ownership of their training routine, performance, and mindset—skills that can lead to strong independence at
work
Use synonyms
. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because most jobs today require teamwork, and being able to function effectively in a group is often more critical than working alone. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 individual
sports
Use synonyms
 promote valuable traits like self-motivation,
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 offer more comprehensive preparation for real-world employment. I firmly believe that
team
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 are more beneficial for equipping
children
Use synonyms
 with the collaboration and communication skills needed for most modern careers.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the strong parallels between
team
Use synonyms
-based
sports
Use synonyms
 and workplace dynamics.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects back to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, helping the reader see how points relate.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This can make your points stronger and clearer.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the main argument, providing a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position, reinforcing your main points well.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: