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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Topic: It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #schoolchildren #history #world
It is true that
history
 plays an important role in the school curriculum. While I agree that students should be taught local
history
, I
also
 believe that it is necessary for them to learn
world
history
. On the one hand, there are several reasons why children reap enormous benefits of learning local
history
.
Firstly
, local
history
 provides identity for children.
This
 means that students know their roots and development of their
country
 throughout
history
 lessons. Learning local
history
 affords
children
Suggestion
child's
 opportunity to know who they are, where they come from, why they are different from other groups of people and values passed on from generations to generations.
Secondly
,
history
 lessons instill patriotism
into
Suggestion
in
 children. When students are taught about events that happened in their
country
 in the past, they are likely to know devotions and sacrifices from ancestors to fight
intruders
Suggestion
the intruders
. In
this
 way, schoolchildren can pay homage to previous generations and feel love for their
country
.
On the other hand
, it is wrong to reject the argument in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of learning
world
history
. The reason is that
world
history
 lessons helps students knowledgeable and tolerant. Throughout
world
history
 lessons, children learn things and events that happened outside their
country
’s border,
such
 as the suffering of black people in the slave trade. Schoolchildren can have different perspectives,
thus
 contributes to a well-round education.
In addition
,
world
history
 helps students to have a deeper insight into the
country
’s
history
. As major events happened in the
world
 in conjunction with one another, a change in one
country
 could effect change in other countries. In
this
 way, children are likely to understand more about their
country
. In conclusion, it is ludicrous to compare local
history
 with
world
history
 because they are equally important.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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