IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

**Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.** Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, some university
students
Use synonyms
 think that
besides
Linking Words
 the main subject, they should
study
Use synonyms
 some extra
courses
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others debate that they should invest all their
time
Use synonyms
 and efforts to focus on the main course. From my perspective, we should let
students
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 extra
courses
Use synonyms
, but universities should guide them
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 to distribute
time
Use synonyms
 and effort to
study
Use synonyms
 those additional subjects
along with
Linking Words
 the main subjects. University plays a crucial role in equipping
students
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important knowledge for their
majors
Use synonyms
 before they join the workforce. With
deep
Add an article
a deep
show examples
 understanding of the major,
students
Use synonyms
 have more opportunities and higher competency than other applicants who change their
majors
Use synonyms
 when applying for a job relating to their
majors
Use synonyms
 even though they have not yet had any working experience.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will not be overwhelmed by the knowledge they will apply in the jobs, but they have more
time
Use synonyms
 to adapt themselves
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the office environment and develop their soft skills. Technological advancements are drastically reshaping the job market, creating demand for hybrid skills that bridge traditional disciplines. To adapt, universities should offer curated extra
courses
Use synonyms
—
such
Linking Words
 as AI ethics for computer science
majors
Use synonyms
 or data visualization for business
students
Use synonyms
—that align with emerging industry needs. By organizing these
courses
Use synonyms
 into career-focused clusters (e.g., ‘Digital Healthcare’ for biology
students
Use synonyms
), institutions reduce confusion and prevent overwhelm.
Additionally
Linking Words
, academic advisors could guide learners to allocate 20-30% of their workload to supplementary subjects, ensuring a balance between core studies and interdisciplinary discoveries.
This
Linking Words
 structured approach equips
students
Use synonyms
 with versatile expertise
while
Linking Words
 maintaining focus on their primary qualifications. In summary,
while
Linking Words
 investing
time
Use synonyms
 and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a major will well prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for the job market, we should not ignore the benefits of extra
courses
Use synonyms
. I believe that balancing
time
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 main and extra
courses
Use synonyms
 is the most suitable method to educate
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating on your examples to provide more depth and specifics. For instance, discussing how hybrid skills can specifically impact a certain field could strengthen your case.
coherence and cohesion
While the overall flow is good, incorporating clearer transitional phrases between points could enhance the coherence further. This would help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that provide a clear overview of your argument, which is a strong point.
task achievement
The discussion on hybrid skills and the need for universities to adapt their courses to industry needs is insightful and relevant, showcasing a deep understanding of current issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: