IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many professionals and doctors are leaving their poor countries to work in developed nations. What problems does it cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with situation?

#professionals #doctors #countries #work #nations #situation
In today's era of modernization,
thera
in or at that place
there
 many
multitalented
 people in developing countries. It is frequently seen that these people are immigrating to the developed countries to improve their lives.
Thus
, the host countries of these people are losing thousands of their highly-educated workers and these people are not serving for the benefits of their
country
 but another. So, in
this
essay it
Accept comma addition
essay, it
 can be seen certain solutions to the causes that are generating the problems. It is convinced that the poor countries are depriving their number of
professionals namely
Accept comma addition
professionals, namely
 doctors due to
Brain
 Drain. To be more precise, Fattox Shodiev, who is the founder of Eurasian Natural Resources Corporation and the richest person in Belgium, is from one of the developing countries, Uzbekistan can be a good example here. It is mainly because those professionals could not satisfy
education system
Suggestion
an education system
the education system
 of their countries and could not satisfy their
needs that
Accept comma addition
needs, that
 inspire them to immigrate abroad to acquire an education and to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their needs. Even
more worse
Suggestion
worse
,
such
 a hard skilled people are contributing to flourish the other countries and making benefits for other nations. Those people,
for instance
, are earning huge amounts of money from rich countries and to run their own business they are investing their money
to
Suggestion
in
 these very countries. Another words, they
are are
a unit of surface area equal to 100 square meters
are
 not earning
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
 they are returning their earnings back to that
country
.
Thus
, professionals are making rich countries popular, powerful and richer.
Brain
 Drain is,
therefore
, urgent problem owing to having those two knock-on effects above.
On the other hand
, several steps must be taken to address the
Brain
 Drain.
Firstly
, It is suggested that the government of poor countries should make the pay rises
to
Suggestion
for
 their hard skilled workers at their workplace.
Moreover
,
government
Suggestion
the government
also
 should organize promotional opportunities and reward systems to motivate their citizens to work for them with passion.
Finally
, highly-educated people should be provided with the working atmosphere,
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 words, they should be provided with the modern technology they need to make great strides for their
country
.
Therefore
, the measures above can be possible solutions to the
Brain
 Drain as they provide everything not to move out. In conclusion, to tackle the losing the number of highly educated people and
they
of them or themselves
their
 effort for another
country
, making the high salary for workers and providing the working atmosphere for their professionals can be possible solutions.
Submitted by mamadaliyevotabek3345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: