IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The increase in food production owes much to fertilizers and better machinery, but some people think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#food #production #fertilizers #machinery #people #impact #health #community
There is no denying that the increase of cuisine production depends on fertilizers and advanced machinery.
However
, some people believe that could have adverse effects on people’s health and the environment. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
 idea. There are several reasons why fertilizers and machinery could affect people’s health and the society to some extent. The
first
 important reason is that Some chemical fertilizers contain heavy metals and toxic element, which could influence people’s health and the environment. As we possibly know, if the chemical fertilizers beyond the toleration of lands, they may flow into rivers around the lands. People could suffer diseases when they drink
this
 water.
Furthermore
, there are many fertilizers on the surface of vegetables and fruits. If people do not wash clear these foods before they eat, they may get sick as well.
Besides
, chemical fertilizers can erode lands and make lands become acid, which could reduce lands’ qualities from time to time. The
second
 noticeable problem ís that Many people will be unemployed due to modern technologies. As a general rule, automated machines can substitute humans to do some farm works and it can enhance productivity. Admittedly, labour-replacing machinery could result in the increase of jobless because machines can replace some farmers.
For example
, in the past, one land needed ten agriculturists to plant crops. But currently it only needs one person and some engines to finish it. Even though the technology advances can boost the production of meat, it
also
 can increase the unemployment rate. In conclusion, with the reasons I mentioned above, I can strongly believe that, the ways of foodstuff production can result in a negative impact on human beings and society. Authorities should intensively supervise and encourage farmers to use environment-friendly fertilizers to reduce the harm to the environment
Submitted by q.vinhlvt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: