Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often said that the youth of today should frequently engage in cultural activities
such
Linking Words
as music and theatre rather than sport. Personally, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
view, as now will be discussed. On the one hand, I agree that participation of today’s youth in cultural activities can be seen as beneficial for their mental
health
Use synonyms
. Cultural engagement may give many young people an effective way to take their mind off stressful situations.
Thus
Linking Words
, it could help their chances of stress and anxiety reduction.
In addition
Linking Words
, they are likely to experience an intense feeling of relaxation and happiness that comes after participating in a cultural activity. Watching a play at the
theater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
,
for example
Linking Words
, may allow
young audience
Suggestion
the young audience
a young audience
to ease their mind as they often get so involved in it that they tend to forget about all the problems they are currently faced with and see how the story unfold, which could leave them feeling relaxed afterwards.
(
Accept space
(
In my view, it is necessary for young people to take part in cultural activities since
this
Linking Words
could benefit their mind)
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that regular sport participation is more important to the youth than cultural engagement for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, playing sports could be advantageous to young people’s physical
health
Use synonyms
since it could allow them to stay in shape and have more energy to work or study. Physically active people may stand a good chance of controlling their weight.
Thus
Linking Words
, they would be able to prevent themselves from some life-threatening diseases, namely heart disease, obesity, diabetes, stroke, and high blood pressure.
Secondly
Linking Words
, involvement in sport could enable many young people to maintain healthy relationships in their lives. Thanks to the relationships, they would manage to combat stress, overcome loneliness, build their career, improve their job performance or academic results, and so on.
For instance
Linking Words
, by playing a football game together frequently, office workers could build and develop stronger
work
Suggestion
working
relationships with their colleagues to make their job more enjoyable and productive. In conclusion, while cultural engagement is necessary for young people’s mental
health
Use synonyms
, I am convinced that they should take part in sports activities for the sake of physical
health
Use synonyms
and relationships.
Submitted by tuanhutech1985 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: