Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#deem #job #pleasure #society #contrast #thay

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In today’s world, opinions vary widely on whether having a stable job or enjoying one’s work is more important.

While

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some prioritize financial security, others emphasize the importance of passion and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. In

this

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essay, I will explore both perspectives and share my own viewpoint on the matter. A stable job offers a sense of security and emotional

stability

Use synonyms

. Consistent income allows individuals to plan for their future,

such

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as funding their children's education, purchasing a home, or saving for emergencies.

This

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financial predictability fosters a sense of confidence and resilience, enabling people to manage stress and handle unexpected challenges effectively.

For example

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, those with steady jobs are less likely to feel overwhelmed by life’s uncertainties, as they can rely on stable resources.

However

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stability

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alone cannot guarantee happiness if the work itself is unfulfilling. Considering that most individuals spend approximately one-third of their day at work, it is essential to find joy and purpose in their tasks.

Otherwise

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, dissatisfaction with a job, no matter how secure, can lead to burnout and negatively impact

overall

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well-being. Drawing from personal experience, I once worked as a night receptionist at a hotel, which provided financial

stability

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. Despite

this

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, the demanding clients, irregular hours, and inability to spend time with friends or engage in hobbies left me feeling drained and dissatisfied.

This

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experience highlighted the limitations of

stability

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without personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. In conclusion,

while

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financial

stability

Use synonyms

is crucial for a secure life, I believe it is equally important to pursue a career that aligns with one’s passions and interests. Only by balancing these two aspects can individuals ensure both emotional well-being and long-term satisfaction in their professional lives.

Submitted by n_forever_living on Fri Nov 22 2024

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task achievement

To elevate the essay to a band 9, you might consider exploring additional viewpoints or nuances within the topic to enrich your argument. This could involve addressing counterarguments more explicitly or adding more varied examples.

coherence cohesion

While your essay's structure is strong, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Linking sentences at the end or beginning of each paragraph could enhance the flow.

introduction

Your introduction is clear and effectively sets the stage for the discussion that follows, aligning well with the essay question.

supported main points

The essay provides specific examples that strongly support the main points, like the personal experience as a night receptionist, making the argument more relatable and convincing.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and offers a clear personal opinion, giving the essay a satisfying sense of closure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Some deem that job pleasure is more important than job society. In contrast ,others think thay having a stable job is better than enjoying the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? #fathers #home #care

Some people think exposure to modern technology at an earlier age is good for children, while others claim that it is harmful to their development. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and societies To what extent do you agree?