IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

In contemporary times, many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer self-employment over employment within a traditional corporation.
This
Linking Words
 essay aims to delineate some plausible reasons for
this
Linking Words
 trend,
along with
Linking Words
 its potential disadvantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many reasons that may encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to become self-employed.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can give them more flexibility in their
work
Use synonyms
 schedule, allowing them to choose their working hours, when to take breaks, and when to go on vacation.
This
Linking Words
 can be especially appealing to
people
Use synonyms
 who have other responsibilities,
such
Linking Words
 as caring for children or elderly family members, or pursuing other interests and hobbies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can lead to higher earnings than in traditional jobs because
people
Use synonyms
 have an opportunity to set their own rates.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their earnings may be correlated with the quantity of
work
Use synonyms
 they are capable of performing and the
overall
Linking Words
 success of their enterprise.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person operating a consulting business might have the capacity to elevate the pricing of their services, thereby facilitating greater earnings. Alternatively, a freelance developer can
work
Use synonyms
 on multiple projects at once, which may offer opportunities to earn more revenue through various streams.
While
Linking Words
 self-employment can have many advantages, there are
also
Linking Words
 some potential disadvantages that individuals should be aware of before deciding to pursue their career path. First and foremost, it can lead to a lack of social interaction and support, or to feeling lonely, as those
people
Use synonyms
 usually spend most of their time on their own business to reach their goals.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, they may set aside other activities,
such
Linking Words
 as spending time with friends and family, to focus on their
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can be more tiring for those who thrive on social interaction and enjoy sharing ideas and solutions with others.
In addition
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 are self-employed, they may be responsible for all aspects of the business,
such
Linking Words
 as marketing, accounting, and sales, which can be overwhelming if they do not have enough experience in these areas. In conclusion, these days, self-employment is more attractive to many
people
Use synonyms
 than working for someone else because it offers greater flexibility in time and decision-making, and may allow them to earn a higher income.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has its own drawbacks, like some social problems and numerous responsibilities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: The essay answers the task but the final view is not very clear. It would help to show a clear stance in the intro and a strong, short conclusion.
task response
Task response: Add more clear detail to each idea and give a quick, strong closing point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use simple linking words to show how ideas go together.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are long; break them into shorter sentences for ease.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: keep the same time and clear reference to nouns to avoid mix up.
structure
Clear start, middle and end.
content
Good use of examples such as a consulting business and a freelance developer.
content
Shows both sides of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: