IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case?

#children #television #activity #levels #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
 few decades, increased the rate of children who spend all of the
day
Use synonyms
 in front of the
TV
Use synonyms
. The majority of the young generation prefers sitting at home by spending their
time
Use synonyms
 for watching television
instead
Linking Words
 of doing outdoor activities,
this
Linking Words
 global problem cause an effect on the child’s development. In the
first
Linking Words
 place, nowadays
TV
Use synonyms
 programs overcrowded by interesting and knowledgeable programs and cartoons, which can be interesting for children. All programs scheduled and kids can spend the whole
day
Use synonyms
 by watching cartoons and movies. It would be difficult for children leaving
TV
Use synonyms
, because
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 they can enjoy of watching their favourite cartoons. Actually,
TV
Use synonyms
 consists of different types of channels as Disney, because of
this
Linking Words
 they can find a lot of reasons for watching television.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending a plenty of
time
Use synonyms
 at home and watching
TV
Use synonyms
 problematic for children, because of
this
Linking Words
 parent try to find the solution and how to teach them to control their
time
Use synonyms
, because they should play games, study. Children’s
time
Use synonyms
 should to be scheduled because they are developing and opening new doors for life, they learn how to live, the reason of
this
Linking Words
 they should limit their
TV
Use synonyms
 turn. Children can do physical activities, read books and enjoy their free
time
Use synonyms
, because in the future they will do a lot of homework. To sum up, children can watch
TV
Use synonyms
, but they should control that
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, parents should to be concentrated on their development and health after which their entertainment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: