IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think space research is a waste of money. The government should spend that money on the improvement of people’s living conditions. What is your opinion on this IELTS topic?

#people #space #research #waste #money #government #improvement #people’s #conditions #ielts #topic
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is being argued that governments exhaust their funding on researching the
space
Use synonyms
, yet it has become ineffective. People claim that more
money
Use synonyms
 should be poured into improving people’s living quality
on the other hand
Linking Words
. I, personally, agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion as enough
space
Use synonyms
 exploration has been done and, sadly, we see our world suffering from real-time problems,
such
Linking Words
 as poverty and hunger where additional
money
Use synonyms
 could easily fix these issues. To start with,
space
Use synonyms
 research has been continuing for about a century now and while we were able to achieve some remarkable results during
this
Linking Words
 period,
for example
Linking Words
 to visit the moon or explore other planets, no new evidence has been obtained in the
last
Linking Words
 decade
though
by means of; with aid of; through the act or agency of; "destroyed by fire"
through
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
space
Use synonyms
 exploration has doubled in
this
Linking Words
 time, a recent study shows. It simply tells us that sending astronauts and spending millions on new spaceships is a waste of time and
money
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
therefore should
Accept comma addition
therefore, should
 be considered to be allocated on more important problems happening here, on the Earth. So many societies suffer from running out of food, living in very poor conditions, not having clean water to drink, and even dying from treatable diseases. Governments should prioritise their funding on these issues
first
Linking Words
 rather than continuing to spend on inefficient
space
Use synonyms
 exploration. A study showed that the US has spent over 1 billion of dollars just in one year’s time while exploring
Use synonyms
space even
Accept comma addition
space, even
 though only 10% of
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 would have helped to fight the homelessness in the country. To conclude, I do acknowledge the benefits of
space
Use synonyms
 research results which were obtained in the
past
Accept comma addition
past, however
however
Linking Words
 I strongly think that funding should be reduced and appropriately spent more on managing people’s living conditions better to improve life here.
Submitted by laurynagelb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: