IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school
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There is an argument that students should finish complete their education programs in schools until reaching 18. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this view of point
Suggestion
this point of view
this view point
. There are some convincing reasons why people should not leave school before 18 years old.
Firstly
, the more time students learn in schools, the more knowledge they gain. Schools,
also
, provide people with educational environments, where people can improve their social skills, especially teamwork skills, and develop their relationships that they all need in the future.
Secondly
, people will not be able to go on to universities and colleges if they did not have a high school diploma. After completing university, people can have more opportunities to get a better job with much higher salaries, compared to those who just finish secondary school.
For instance
, in Vietnam, people will be more successful in their careers with a college degree.
On the other hand
, those who lack of academic knowledge will find tough in making a living.
For example
, without expert skills and knowledge, many just can take up manual labour jobs, which is often plodding and low-income.
Moreover
, mainly because they are not enough mature to make a right decision.
Therefore
, people who exposed to the real world at an early age will not be able to avoid the temptations as well as easily have unlawful activities. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned before, I have always believed that human beings should study and finish their education at high schools until they are 18.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peer pressure
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Neglect
  • Abuse
  • Supervision
  • Anti-bullying measures
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Dominance
  • Cyberbullying
  • Anonymity
  • Digital devices
  • Enforcement
  • Cultural tolerance
What to do next:
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