Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages?
There is no doubt that some people need to do part-time
jobs
to accommodate their studies. Use synonyms
Conversely
, certain individuals are engaged in part-time Linking Words
jobs
as a hobby. In my opinion, some equal merits and demerits lead to Use synonyms
this
statement. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will elaborate on my perspective regarding Linking Words
this
issue.
Linking Words
To begin
with, college students who Linking Words
work
half-time Use synonyms
jobs
get extra cash that they can use to Use synonyms
fulfill
their needs. Change the spelling
fulfil
Therefore
, they can learn how to be independent and do not have to ask for it to their parents. Linking Words
For instance
, my sister is a barista in a coffee shop somewhere in Jakarta. She gets paid every month with a rational salary Linking Words
that is
enough for her to pay her rent and buy things she desires. Linking Words
Moreover
, you can easily get a job once you graduate because you already have Linking Words
work
experience before. Nowadays, Use synonyms
according to
job recruiters, they value Linking Words
work
more than organizational experience.
Use synonyms
For example
, my brother does side-Linking Words
work
as an admin in a company Use synonyms
although
he is currently enrolled in university. Linking Words
As a result
, he easily gets accepted into a reputable company with a high income.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, there are Linking Words
also
drawbacks to having a part-time. Linking Words
Firstly
, it can interfere with your Linking Words
overall
grades during your studies. To illustrate, a friend of mine does not have good skill of time management, Linking Words
as a result
, he often abandons his college assignments and ends up getting terrible scores. Linking Words
Secondly
, having to Linking Words
work
aside from pursuing your degree is a large responsibility to handle. Use synonyms
Consequently
, people regularly feel exhausted from managing two duties at the same time.
In conclusion, there are equal upsides and downsides to having to Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
also
focusing on your education. Doing part-time Linking Words
jobs
is for students who are good at organizing stuff to do, Use synonyms
therefore
they can get good grades Linking Words
as well as
a convincing salary.Linking Words
Submitted by pnasywasina on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay does include an introduction and conclusion and there is a logical progression of ideas, additional linking phrases and cohesive devices could be used to make the progression of ideas even clearer and to help the essay flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but the support could be improved by developing your arguments further and providing deeper analysis or more varied examples. Aim to explore each main point more thoroughly.
task achievement
You did address the task, providing a balanced view of advantages and disadvantages, but consider expanding on your views and providing a more in-depth discussion of the implications of part-time work during studies. Show a wider range of language to help elaborate on these points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear, but sometimes lack comprehensive development. To improve, ensure that each paragraph fully addresses the aspect of the topic it sets out to discuss. This will also help you ensure a complete response to the question.
task achievement
You provided personal examples, but to strengthen your argument and make it more relevant, consider incorporating more generalized examples or statistical evidence that can be applied widely across the student population.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...