IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about drinking habits of the US population by age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #habits #population #age #summarise #features #comparisons
The given bar graph represents
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of usage ethanol
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
divided into four subgroups; heavy
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
show examples
, Light
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
show examples
, ex-
drinker
 and never
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
show examples
 by ages in the U.S. A glance at the graphs reveals that the younger
population
 tends to alcoholism more than older people.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 never drinks
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all ages. It can be seen clearly that the
population
 of 25-54 years old attend to more drinking than the rest of them. Usage of alcohol has been just over the %40 all
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. Particularly, the highest heavy
drinker
 age is 45-54
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
.
However
, after the age of fifty-five, the proportion of drinking habit was
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 fall,
while
 the number of never
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
show examples
 slightly decreases.
In contrast
, the
population
 of ex-drinkers increase as
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
 trend of
never drinkers
Add a hyphen
never-drinkers
show examples
. In conclusion, the percentage of ethanol users
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 decreasing
according to
 growing age. But, a minority of the
population
 prefers to drink ethanol one of which does not escape heavy
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
%5.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words drinker, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Drinking habits
  • Population demographics
  • Age group/bracket
  • Alcohol consumption
  • Frequency of drinking
  • Heavy drinking
  • Moderate drinking
  • Teetotaler
  • Legal drinking age
  • Societal norms
  • Trends over time
  • Underage drinking
  • Alcohol abuse
  • Health implications
  • Statistical data
  • Comparative analysis
  • Bar chart/Line graph
  • Binge drinking
  • Responsibility in drinking
  • Age-specific patterns
  • Cross-generational comparison
What to do next:
Look at other essays: