Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The educational activities for students after
school
Use synonyms
are more important
continues
Suggestion
continuing
to be a controversial topic. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will discuss. On the one hand, some parents prefer their children to do educational activities after
school
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because of the intense competition in the whole world.
For example
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, they will plan numerous academic exercise and tutorial classes
to
Suggestion
for
their children to ensure they can get a high
rank
Suggestion
ranking
in
school
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. Most of the
parent
Suggestion
parents
only concentrate on their children
school
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exam result; they believe that more senior exam results equal to a better future.
Moreover
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, some parent thinks that children always waste their leisure time
to play
Suggestion
playing
mobile or computer, doing educational activities can take advantage of time in the right way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that
this
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way will push children under pressure. Nowadays, the homework that
Use synonyms
school
Suggestion
the school
give
Suggestion
gives
a student is already over-workload. An investigation shows that Hong Kong students spend an average of 2 hours a day to complete all their homework. Meanwhile, they need to go to
school
Use synonyms
for 8 hours a day, which mean they need to spend 10 hours a day in the academic field. If the children need to do educational activities after
school
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, it will give them immense pressure and bring out a negative effect to them.
Furthermore
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, as the competition increase, academic result is not the only criteria to determine
student future
Suggestion
the student's future
student's future
. Society becomes
more focus
Suggestion
more focused
on various
development
Suggestion
developments
of the student.
Thus
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, parents should not limit their children only can do educational activities. Overall, I feel that it may sometime do more harm than good to give many workloads to children. We should concentrate on their other development and it will more
favorable
encouraging or approving or pleasing
favourable
to their growth.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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