Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure

The educational activities for students after

school

are more important continuing to be a controversial topic. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will discuss. On the one hand, some parents prefer their children to do educational activities after

school

because of the intense competition in the whole world.

For example

, they will plan numerous academic exercise and tutorial classes for their children to ensure they can get a high ranking in

school

. Most of the parents only concentrate on their children's

school

exam results; they believe that more superior exam results equal to a better future.

Moreover

, some parent thinks that children always waste their leisure time to playing mobile or computer, doing educational activities can take advantage of time in the right way.

On the other hand

, some people think that

this

way will push children under pressure. Nowadays, the homework that

school

Suggestion

the school

gives a student is already over-workload. An investigation shows that Hong Kong students spend an average of 2 hours a day to complete all their homework. Meanwhile, they need to go to

school

for 8 hours a day, which means they need to spend 10 hours a day in the academic field. If the children need to do educational activities after

school

, it will give them immense pressure and bring out a negative effect to them.

Furthermore

, as the competition increase, the academic result is not the only criterion to determine the student's future. Society becomes more focused on various developments of the student.

Thus

, parents should not limit their children only can do educational activities. Overall, I feel that it may sometime do more harm than good to give many workloads to children. We should concentrate on their other development and it will more favourable to their growth.

Submitted by cheonglam320 on Mon Apr 27 2020

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Write about the following topic: Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? Give reasons for your answer.

nformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?”

Some people say that public sports facilities improve people's health problems. Others argue that this development has insignificant effects on public health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, government are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?