IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

A friend you made while you are studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Tell your friend about the job and what sort of work it involves. •Say why you think the job would be suitable for him/her. •Explain how to apply for the job.

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Dear Shoaib, I'm writing to let you about a recent
data
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 analyst job opening at "The Urban Unit" in Pakistan.
This
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 is a multinational company which is an equal opportunity provider for all ethnicities, nationalities, religions, genders, and races. To commence with, the organisation is looking for a
data
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 analyst for the " Census of Manufacturing Industries" where a mobile application is designed for
data
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 collection in the field and loading it into the database. Youn being an analyst will be responsible for cleaning, transforming, analysing, and reporting
data
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 on a daily basis so that
data
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 standardisation and normalisation are carried out effectively. Since you did your final year project on population census using Excel, Python, and SQL as tools, I believe you will definitely secure
this
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 position as your skills are aligned with the job requirements.
Hence
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, all applicants are requested to apply online. You should submit your resume
along with
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 your portfolio by April 1, 2024, so that the employer will evaluate your documentation and consider you for a virtual interview. Wishing you the best of luck. Best regards, Haris

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your letter has a clear introduction, well-developed paragraphs that each focus on one main idea, and a concise conclusion. In this letter, the structure is quite good, but you could enhance clarity by using a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more explicitly. This will help your letter flow better and make it easier for the reader to understand the connection between your thoughts.
task achievement
Your letter fulfills the task requirements well by providing information about the job, explaining why it would be suitable for your friend, and detailing how to apply for the job. To further improve, ensure that every aspect of the prompt is addressed equally. Expanding a bit more on the application process could provide a more balanced response. Also, personalizing the letter slightly more by mentioning specific qualities or achievements of your friend that make them an ideal candidate could make your recommendation stronger.
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