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Band 6

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors.Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #computers #entertainment #sports #part #pastimes #indoors
Children are the tender buds of the society and they are required to tag True values of life. In
this
 present scenario, most of youngsters depend upon the modern gadgets and spend less
time
 on playing outdoor activities which is essential for their development and growth.So, I completely accorded with
this
 statement. To embark on, there are multiple reasons that adolescence is more engaged in Indoor activities rather than outdoor activities.
Firstly
, the most indispensable reason is that children are busy
withtheir
Suggestion
with their
 hectic schedule so that's why they have no enough
time
 to play with your friends. So that's why they spend more
time
 on their mobiles and computers. The adolescence has more burden of their studies so that's why they had not enough
time
 to play outdoors activities. Whereas, nowadays Technology is updated at an exponential rate as there is various kinds of different games which is very interested and children's are
also
 more interested in playing that game they feel relax while playing
this games
Suggestion
this game
these games
. To illustrate, now-a-days teenagers spend most of
time
 in playing pub games which is the one of the famous and boy spend a lot of
time
 in playing it and wasting their
time
 and they not spend most of
time
 on studying.
Secondly
, there are various benefits while playing outdoor activities as by playing
this activities
Suggestion
these activities
this activity
 the children cannot only improve their mental fitness as well as their physical fitness. Physical activities play a crucial role in the life of the students as they can
also
 show their interest and talent in the sport field. To conclude, the parents should give attention towards children's that how much
time
 you should spend on indoor activities and outdoor activities, it is the responsibility of the parents to nurture their children's according to the requirements.
Submitted by evercool09 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dependent
  • computers
  • electronic entertainment
  • outside
  • sports
  • traditional pastimes
  • excessive
  • negative impacts
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • promote
  • overall well-being
  • play outdoors
  • read books
  • socialize
  • develop
  • balance
  • holistic development
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