Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.

#street #shops #business #years

It is true that more and more high street shops have been disappeared. The development of Internet is the biggest reason of

this

problem. In my point-view, it not only brings positive effects but

also

negative ones. We

can not

cannot

deny the obvious benefits of shopping online. It is very

convinient

suited to your comfort or purpose or needs

convenient

. Where else you can comfortably

shop

at midnight while in your pyjamas? You needn't to catch a bus or drive your car, needn't to get dressed.

Therefore

, the environment pollution will reduce and time will not be wasted.

Moreover

, shopping online provides us better prices. There are always many deals and lower-prices online because products are delivered to you direct from the manufacturers or sellers without involving middlemen. You can compare prices so it is easier for you to find the best deal.

Finally

, when

shop

at home, you are not afraid of traffic accidents or robbers. It is actually much safer. The disappearance of high street shops

have

Suggestion

has

many advantages.

Firstly

, it encourages retail companies to shift their business focus to catch up with technology development.

Secondly

, it offers more ways to

shop

for customers.

On the other hand

this

phenomenon

also

has many negative effects. It leads to the reduction of employment opportunity so the unemployment rate will

raise

move upward

rise

Besides

, shopping

center

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

is a place for people to hang out with their friends and family.

Thus

, its disappearance causes the fact that people have fewer point to go out and they become more and more closed.

Finally

, shopping online means people spend more time on their smart phone or computer. Phone addiction will increase while mental health will decrease. In conclusion, the disappearance of many

shop

is both a good and

bad thing

Suggestion

a bad thing

Submitted by baokhangphamtrinh on Mon Apr 27 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

286 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years.

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole . Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be Iiving. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to Iive in?

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.