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Band 4.5

Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school.

#classmates #influence #parents #child’s #success #school
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Classmates and parents both
plays
Suggestion
play
 significant role in the life of
child
Suggestion
a child
the child
. Some people
thinks
Suggestion
think
 that classmates have more
influence
on
Suggestion
on a child as
child
 as
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to parents, I personally oppose the statement for which reasons and examples are mentioned in the subsequent paragraph. To embark, it is undeniable that classmates have an important
influence
 on
child’s behavior
Suggestion
the child’s behaviour
child’s behaviour
a child’s behaviour
 and the success they achieve in the
school
.
For example
, when a
child
 have
problem
Suggestion
a problem
problems
 and queries they always take help of their friends to understand the things, another perfect example is that in sports his friends might help him in practice and encourage them. Despite all these positive sides, they could
also
 bring negative side in the life like drugs, smoking and many other bad habit and he could
influence
 to use it and later may get addicted. From the other side of the picture, parents have a great
influence
in children’s in
Suggestion
on children’s
on children’s in
in children’s after
in children’s after after
school
 as well as throughout the life. Most of
time
Suggestion
the time
 after
school
 children spend their time with parents so automatically they learn many things from their parents.
Moreover
, parents are more experienced so they can teach well and help their
child
 in motivating and guide them in a better way. Another reason to support my viewpoint, children
are emotionally connected
Suggestion
emotionally connect
 with their kids therefor they can understand their problem very well and easily.
Further
, parents
knows
Suggestion
know
 very well about the
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
, mood, weak point, strong point, abilities and their interest. So they are the best mentor and tutor as well. To sum up, children are image of their parents so I personally believe that parents have more
influence
 than their classmates in their success they achieve in the
school
.
Submitted by surabhisingh7000 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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